by Herm Rawlings
Ahh ... you know spring is just around the corner when you're awakened by the sweet sound of a little bird ourside your window with its two-toned chirp happily welcoming the new day. The early sun's rays warm your face as you begin to think what has to be done. Did I mention the bird outside the window? You continue lying there gathering your thoughts, and all the while that bird continues to call to you with its high/low melody every few seconds. You feel like you'd like to just stay right where you are and enjoy just a few more minutes of silent solitude. But you can't. There's work to be done, plus ... THAT F@#KING BIRD IS STILL AT THE WINDOW! I HATE YOU BIRD! I HATE YOU WITH EVERY FIBER OF MY SOUL! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE OUTSIDE MY WINDOW YOU WRETCHED LITTLE WINGED CREATURE? SHUT THE F#%K UP ALREADY! I HOPE WHEN YOU'RE FLYING AROUND, YOU FLY RIGHT INTO THE GRILL OF DEATH ATTACHED TO A SPEEDING 18 FRICKIN WHEELER! OH HOW I LOATHE YOU, YOU FEATHERED F#*KER. I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND GIVE YOU A NEW HOME ON MY ROTISSERIE AND HAVE YOUR YOUNG FOR BREAKFAST TOMORROW MORNING. I DESPISE YOUR VERY EXISTENCE YOU LITTLE BASTARD! QUIT WAKING ME UP 45 MINUTES BEFORE THE ALARM GOES OFF! DIE, DIE, DIE YOU NOISY FLYING MOUSE! ... Have a great day everyone!
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Herm Rawlings is a retired Coast Guardsman currently working for the U.S. Navy in Wallops Island, Virginia. He has had multiple articles published in Shore Secrets Magazine and is currently working on a book about his life. Humor and self-depreciation are always key ingredients in his writings.
